if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize