I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
