1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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