tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
