bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize