My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
