Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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