His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He felt like a one man threesome
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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