did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
