I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
