my sisters under your porch take her home
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
