Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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