hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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