I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
