census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She bit a glass in half.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
