So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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