I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
