I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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