i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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