Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
