But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
