i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is Oprah even human
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
