The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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