Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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