You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
