Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
