Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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