so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it's like iHOP with fire
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
