NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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