Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
soo... how was my night?
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