i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
