Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
