Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
