So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
