Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
