why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
