Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
40s are totally the cure
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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