We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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