508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
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