Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
