He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
