i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just high enough for therapy.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
