Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I never want to see another naked old woman again.

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(301): View more from Maryland

chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.

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(847): View more from Illinois

he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?

(952): View more from Minnesota

You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....

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(214): View more from Texas

I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.

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(561): View more from Florida

Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.

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(443): View more from Maryland

he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome

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(480): View more from Arizona

I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing

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