My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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