I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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