Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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