im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
