pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
