Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize