At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
