just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
