if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
love makes seman taste better
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
