She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
pop tarts are not kleenex
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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