is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
