so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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