I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
