Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
