ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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