I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
