Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
