names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
