You can't special order awesome
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
