my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
