Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
