So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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