I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
